Lost in Translation
by thea46
Summary: What if they didn't find anything to separate Jace from Sebastian? What if that night Jace was successful in surrendering to the Clave? What happens when the Clave decides to kill Jace to end Sebastian? What if Jace agrees to die? How will everyone react? Character death. Four long chapters of angst. Clace, Malec, Sizzy.
1. Beginning of the End

**A.N : Hey guys! I know I haven't updated my stories in ages but I have a reason for that. In my country, when we are in our second year of high school we need to take an examination which is the first milestone of our career and we can't afford to mess that up. I have that exam spell in 22 days. So I've been studying hard. But I just had this random idea and had to put it down otherwise I would've lost focus. So here it is.**

 **The setting of this one shot is the time following the one night when Jace was himself in CoLS. In the actual book by the amazing Cassandra Clare, Jace wanted to surrender to the Clave and see what they do but Clary obviously wanting to save his life by any means alerted Sebastian who came and healed the dark rune and things were back to square one.**

 **This one-shot follows the alternative storyline. What if Jace had been successful in leaving and to find out what happens then continue reading.**

 **Warning: Like a pizza with extra cheese this one-shot comes with extra angst so grab a tissue and DO NOT read in public if you are an easy crier. Angst junkies like me, enjoy!**

* * *

It was the fourth day since she and Jace had escaped from Sebastian's clutches. She would be more happier about her freedom if she had Jace by her side.

The ever sacrificant Jace with a death wish the size of the whole U.S.A had willingly given himself up to the Clave for 'exploration' purposes. At least the Clave had termed it that way but Clary knew the reality. He was being treated like a deranged person with a contagious fatal disease detained for safety of others.

When they had first burst through thin air into the Hall of the Accords, it had been empty other than few people guarding it. She would have liked to be inconspicuous and take Jace back to the Lightwood's and spend a quiet night cuddling with him, just to reassure herself that he was back. Her Jace was back. But it wasn't as if they were not infamous, Valentine's children and main figures of the Mortal War tend to leave a mark on people's minds.

The second the guards saw them, they notified the Inquisitor and somehow within minutes the Clave was in session.

As a special favour Izzy was also allowed in the meeting in spite of being under age.

From the moment they were discovered Jace had been tightly holding onto her as if he knew what the verdict would be and wanted to hold her close for a few last minutes.

The minute Isabelle and Alec entered the hall and located them, they ran to Jace and Izzy tackled Jace in an awkward one armed hug and the poor boy was trying not to wince from the gash on his chest and hold on to Clary at the same time. Alec, after finally managing to pull his excited and emotional sister off of his _parabatai_ , had gotten his own reunion with his brother.

But all these teary eyed reunions were short-lived when the Inquisitor came in and isolated Jace and her from the rest to question them.

Clary had tried to answer his probing questions as truthfully as possible but warping few bits to make Jace seem as innocent as possible while Jace had recounted the moments he remembered from the terrace of the Church if Talto to waking up from under the spell, leaving personal details out.

The Clave decided to detain him because they couldn't be certain about the longevity of this reprieve from Sebastian's bond. So they put him in the Gard notwithstanding Clary's and his siblings' protests. But as a reward for bringing back Jace, as if she had handed a fugitive over to the law, Clary had received the liberty of visiting him in the Gard. But only Clary because she had proven that she would never come under the influence of Sebastian controlled Jace (She had cleverly worked out this deal).

So every day, for a few hours she could go sit with Jace so that he didn't feel like a prisoner.

She got up from Izzy's bed and went to look at her appearance in the mirror. Her eyes were sunk in which produced an uncanny resemblance between her and a Silent Brother, mutilated mouth apart that is.

She shook her auburn curls free from the knot she had tied it in and tried to look a little more attractively tired. Looking at her drawn face won't do Jace any good.

"Tell him we love him and are looking for that bastard so that he can be free as soon as possible." Isabelle said, coming up behind Clary to help her tame her hair into a presentable updo.

"I will, Iz."

Clary dropped her hand, letting Isabelle have her way with her hair. Everyone was on edge nowadays and Izzy took hers off by treating Clary as a human barbie before her regular visits to Jace.

'Gotta get you prepped and pretty for the boy. You're his only source of entertainment.'

Although Izzy said this was the sole reason, Clary understood that she just wanted to feel useful and help her brother, so she let Isabelle do that even if she hated it and the way Jace's tired eyes had lit up the first time she went to him dolled up was worth everything.

They were almost done when Alec came in with a more pleased expression than his regular brooding which Clary wrote off to the glitter on his plain black shirt.

"Glad at least one of us is getting some." Izzy said, putting last touches on Clary's hair. Clary could see her smirk in the mirror and the immediate red hue that touched Alec's neck.

"Just tell Jace we are looking for a way and not to give up hope, okay?" Alec said, ignoring his sister's comment.

"Yeah."

Alec and Izzy had been equally worried as Clary had been about Jace. They were the only ones who really cared about him and prioritised him.

Alec nodded in acknowledgement.

"Has he agreed to a healing rune?"

Clary shook her head in negative.

"He thinks healing that bit of skin would heal the rune and throw him back under. He agreed to a bandage only after I threatened to cut myself and bleed with him. If it was up to him he would have been picking at the wound."

"Do you think he is right?" Isabelle asked, "I mean you being the rune expert."

"I don't know, Iz. I'm no expert but I've heard Mom speaking to few experts, they have never faced this but said that usually destroyed runes don't work but this one is foreign."

Isabelle sighed.

"You're all done! Go get your man." she said energetically.

"Thanks, Iz."

She looked in the mirror and saw the black cave under her eyes were covered up and she looked all right, almost. That was all Isabelle could do, the rest was up to her acting skills. She had been getting better with wrapping herself with the seemingly nonchalant air around Jace to lessen his worries because in spite of her continuous confirmations of her wellbeing, he worried about her.

"Okay!" she sighed.

"All ready to go!" she said with fake energy.

Izzy gave her a thumbs up and even Alec nodded.

* * *

Clary stood in front of the entrance to the Gard cells and signed her escorts to leave her alone. The guards nodded and left to take their normal positions.

She took a deep breath and held it for a few seconds and then let it all out to release a bit of the pressure in her chest and put on a smile.

She entered the barely lit place. The only light was the afternoon sun streaming in through the bars of the cell windows. At night, it was even creepier with few witchlights and the moon.

She walked down the aisle and reached the fourth cell where the love of her life was being wrongly detained.

Her eyes took a bit adjusting but then she saw him. Lying in the corner on his back with his one hand folded under his head and the other over his eyes, hiding his whole face. Only his pursed lips and few curls of dark hair was visible, but Clary knew the kind of lustre it had when his whole head of golden curls was in sunshine.

His white button down shirt was open on the front with his torso in full view, the only thing scarring the it was the red spotted white bandage around his chest. He was a picture of calm except for the shaking of his jean clad right leg crossed over his left one.

The little light available was flitting over him, making a show of the light and the shadows on him.

Before Clary could say anything, he spoke without removing the hand covering his face.

"Didn't get tired of me, I see." His tone was light and joking.

A weight lifted off Clary's chest. Only one sentence from Jace and his presence could free her from every worry, every pain in the world, at least momentarily. Overwhelmed, Clary closed her eyes and her fake smile on her lips widened and turned real.

Opening her eyes she said, "Technically you can't see. You've got your eyes covered."

Her light and sarcastic comeback seemed to have had the same effect on Jace as his on her.

A small smile played on his perfect lips and the nervous shaking of his foot stopped. Removing his arm from his face, he looked at her as if taking her all in from the angle below where he was lying.

Clary saw that the bruises on his face had turned yellowish and he seemed a bit better, though tire was written all over his body language.

He smiled fully and got up on his feet.

Clary opened the door of the cell with an opening rune and got in and closed it back up.

This was a negotiation with the Inquisitor. In return of coming in close contact with Jace, she had to lock herself in with him and in case he went dark Jace again, she would throw her stele out and stay locked up with him until help came.

She threw herself towards him, careful not to hurt him, but he didn't seem to care as he hugged her tightly to his chest and rested his head on hers. For a moment, they stood like that, clinging onto each other. And then Jace broke the embrace and kissed her on the forehead softly once, twice.

"By the Angel, I've missed you."

"You know, I did too. And I could never get tired of you."

"I know. You established that pretty well when you followed your psychotic brother dearest and... _him_." Jace never spoke of himself under Sebastian's control in first person.

It was always _him_. As if it was someone else.

"That pretty much summed things up, didn't it?"

"Hm."

He nodded along with the monosyllabic answer while burrowing his face in her neck and taking deep breaths of her, as if to memorise her smell and planting soft feather like kisses on the side of her neck. His left hand roaming on her back, caressing her lightly as if she was made of porcelain and the other tightly wound around her waist as if he had no doubt that she was iron. His touches made her weak at the knees but she was holding on as tightly onto him softly kissing his shoulder and moaning deep within her throat from the sparks that lit up her tired soul.

Jace finally looked up, never loosening his hold on her as if she would disappear and he never wanted to lose her.

"Have you been eating?"

"For the last time Jace, I'm not the one locked up and yes, I've been throwing parties and having feasts with Izzy and Alec."

He laughed a bit and said, "You know, I worry about you."

"But why?" she asked him, pulling him even closer if possible by his waist, her force measured up to the frustration in her question but the hand caressing his face was gentle.

"I just do. Speaking of parties and Alec and Iz, how are they?"

"They're okay. Worried, tired but okay. They said that they love you and Alec said not to lose hope and that he will figure a way out if this mess."

"Tell them I love them too and tell Alec specially that I am a ray of sunshine and hope lighting up the Gard." Jace said sitting down and pulling her down on his lap going back to kissing and nuzzling her neck and running his hand down her side in a comforting gesture.

" Okay, your Royal Sarcasmness!" she retorted or tried to, her voice shaking from Jace's attention on her neck.

She pulled back and looked him straight in the eyes.

"He's right, you know. I'll do anything, we'll do anything."

His eyes darkened and his pupils dilated.

He brought his mouth down on hers, hard. All of the frustration, lost hope, anger and sadness and passion and love flowing like charges between their lips.

Clary reciprocated with as much pressure as he was kissing her with and gave permission for him to explore her whole mouth and in turn fondling his tongue with hers. Trying to convey all her love and hope to him, to make him feel better and not give up on himself. Their feverish and passionate kisses turned comfortable and languorous and then turned to soft, loving pecks.

Feeling rejuvenated, Clary pulled back and took in the beautiful broken boy she was lucky enough to love and trust and earn his trust and love in return.

His eyes were so dilated that the golden had been almost completely swallowed by his pupil. He was looking at her but she could tell that she had lost him to his thoughts.

"What are you thinking about?" she whispered, stroking the side of his face.

He seemed to come back from wherever he was lost and focus on her.

* * *

Jace stared at the beautiful, strong, hopeful and oblivious face of the girl he loved more than anything on the surface of the earth and sighed.

He had contemplated telling Clary about the deal he had made that day but when he had laid his eyes upon her, her presence filling up that dingy and dark Gard cell with light, and had heard her joking tone, he hadn't wanted to spoil the lightness around her that he noticed for the first time since a very long time. So he decided to hold her and take her in for as long as possible.

He tangled his fingers in the open red curls hanging down her shoulders and noticed that half of it was twisted up on her head in an intricate braid and the rest was down.

Isabelle, he thought, fondly.

Honestly, he missed his enthusiastic and determined sister and her antics and training with his parabatai but he was glad that he could at least have Clary with him sometimes.

"What are you thinking about?"

Her whispered question broke his reverie and he said the first thing that came to his head.

"Normalcy."

He was a Shadowhunter and never thought about being anything else but one could do only so much staying locked up. The thought about another life had crossed his mind more than once. A life where he could have Clary and his family and live happily with mundane problems and not sit awaiting his imminent death.

He had never cared about life or death before and people would say that he had a death wish but with Clary, he had never wanted to live so desperately.

"I just miss the way things used to be, you know. Before Valentine and Sebastian came and messed things up."

Seeing sadness cloud her eyes, he quickly changed his tone.

"I mean, I've always been irresistible and had girls throwing themselves my way, sometimes boys too, but never had such an ardent lover who turned the world upside down for others and bought a house that portals between dimensions just to enjoy my company." he said with a smirk.

Clary shoved him lightly on the shoulder, chuckling.

"What?! Now I'm regretting not thinking about my magnetic field being too strong."

She shook her head, her shoulders trembling with silent laughter.

It felt good to see her laugh but he knew that this was fleeting and he would have to break the news to her and knew that she would never forgive him.

In a way that would be good, save her from the hurt.

He was going to tell her that he loved her but just then the door opened and in came the Inquisitor.

"Sorry to cut this lovely time short but I'm afraid you have to leave Clary."

Clary jumped up, freeing herself from Jace's hold and nervously brushed invisible dust from her jeans.

Jace slowly stood up and his stony eyes met the animated ones of the Inquisitor. He knew why the Inquisitor was so excited. It was clear that he could tell that Clary knew nothing about their deal and the thought that they would suffer in the near future have his sadistic heart some sort of pleasure.

"Yes, okay. Um, can you give us a minute.." Clary said ".. alone. "

The Inquisitor tilted his head once and turned around but didn't leave.

Clary sighed, obviously understanding that they weren't about to be left alone, and turned to face him.

"I love you" she said taking his hands and giving them a comforting squeeze.

"I love you." Jace said and leaned down and pecked her on the lips, softly.

She turned around, opened the cell with her stele and went out and shut the door and looked at him through the bars wistfully before locking the door. She raised her hand in a little parting wave and turned around and left, Jace's eyes following her departing silhouette growing smaller by the second until it completely disappeared.

He turned his eyes back to the Inquisitor.

"I hope you haven't backed out of our deal seeing that you didn't tell your girlfriend. Knowing Ms. Morgenstern, she would be at my throat if she knew."

"You don't know her and no, I haven't. You can still have your way, if you carry out your part of the deal."

"Yeah, I know. Tomorrow is the fifth day. You can leave for one night and spend it with your girl." the Inquisitor said, smirking.

Jace wanted to throw a sharp comeback about how he didn't have to plan Jace's night out but he knew that the only thing he wanted to do was spent as much time as possible with Clary. So he just nodded and went to the back to the cell and sat down. The Inquisitor seemed to take the hint and leave.

* * *

Clary walked back to Isabelle's room where, she knew, both the Lightwoods would be waiting for news of their brother. She didn't bother knocking, just pushed the door open and immediately regretted her abrasive behaviour.

Clary cleared her throat while covering her eyes.

"I hope it's safe to open my eyes."

Opening her eyes she saw Simon and Isabelle sitting on each end of the bed, far apart.

"Much better." she said with a smirk, seeing both of them turn different shades of red. You would think that being walked in on would just annoy Isabelle but with Simon, she always was blushing.

Huh! True love!

"How's he?" Isabelle tried to change the subject.

"Okay, I guess."

"I'm sure he is. Judging by the sudden allergy that you have that made your lips swell and your chin turn the exact shade of my favourite red lipstick that I remember lending you."

Now it was Clary's turn to blush.

"Good to see you, Fray." Simon said going up to hug her. Good ole' Lewis always to her rescue.

"I missed you, Simon." Clary hugged her friend tightly. The only constant in her life.

"I'm tired. I'll just crash here.." Clary said ".. in Jace's room" she completed noticing Isabelle's crestfallen face "so that you can do whatever you want with my best friend."

Isabelle lit up. "Okay. You know your way around so now shoo.. You've had your fun, let me have mine." she shoved a laughing Clary out of the door.

* * *

Entering the room, Clary at once felt that it wasn't Jace's alone. Well, aside from two beds, the room just didn't have the monk like vacancy that Jace's room at the Institute has. Alec was staying with Magnus at Ragnor Fell's so the room was hers for the night.

She stripped to her underwear and pulled one of Jace's T-shirts on. As usual it completely swallowed her and reached her knees. She went to Jace's bed and laid down, pulling the covers up to her waist.

After tossing and turning for quite some time, she pulled her hands inside the T-shirt she was wearing, anyone looking at her would think for a moment that she didn't have hands, and then pulled her knees up to her chest and the T-shirt's neck up to her nose. Finally feeling comfortable after curling into herself like that and having Jace's faint smell lingering all around her, she gave in to the exhaustion.

* * *

 **A.N: So, what do you think? Tell me in the reviews.**


	2. Calm before the Storm

**A.N: It was a really long one-shot before, so I split it into chapters. Tell me what you think about this.**

* * *

Clary felt deliciously warm. She had not felt so warm and comfortable in a long time. She snuggled into the heat until her nose brushed against something rough. She squinted her eyes in anticipation of the bright sun but saw that the light was soothing, as if someone had drawn the curtains. In a rush she realised that it was not the sun but the early morning sunlight reflecting off something golden making it even more golden and the only white thing was a piece of rough gauze wrapped around a chest she knew very well. In disbelief, she looked up and met the sleeping face of the one and only Jace Lightwood. His arms were around her, she was practically lying on one of his hands but he didn't seem to mind. Her head was tucked under his chin and he was deeply asleep. Peaceful.

She couldn't believe her own eyes. She wanted to wake him up and make sure that it wasn't a dream but he looked rested after so long. So she kicked that plan out of Alicante and snuggled in, enjoying his arms around her and didn't realise when she again fell asleep.

When she woke again, the delicious warmth was gone. She quickly opened her eyes and saw Jace sitting on a chair by her, freshly showered, clad in another button down shirt. Seeing that she was awake, he smiled.

"Hi, sleep well?"

"Better the second time around", seeing him get confused she continued "I woke up once, early in the morning, and discovered a new addition to my pillows and cuddled with it and again fell asleep."

His face broke into a devilish smirk, "So you loved the new addition to your bed, huh!"

"Yes, missed it even for a long time and would love to have it for all my life." she said unabashedly, looking him straight in the eye.

His smirk faltered and she wrote it off to surprise but he quickly gained control of it and reached forward to capture her lips in his, but she pushed him away. Confused, he frowned.

She got up and went to the washroom and said "I would like to brush my teeth before you ravish me."

He smirked his signature smirk and said "I wouldn't mind cleaning your mouth with my tongue and fight off all the bacteria, you know I fight demons for a living."

"Ew, gross!" she said, screwing her nose up.

He laughed loudly and in a blink was in front of her and kissing her softly once on her nose. She pushed him away feigning irritation and quickly entered the bathroom and locked the door and smiled hearing him still laughing.

She took the quickest shower in history and wrapped a towel around her body and looked at herself in the small mirror meant for men to shave and discovered that the black shadows were back under her eyes and she looked exceptionally pale and there were red patches all over the left side of her face from sleeping, the only bright thing was her eyes, which were glowing at the prospective of Jace waiting for her outside. Not a good look to show your boyfriend but she didn't have any way to call Izzy for help.

"Gah!" she decided to let it go, Jace knew what he was in for and never seemed to be bothered about how she looked.

She took in a deep breath and opened the door, clutching the towel to her chest, and went out. She saw that Jace was still on that chair with his eyes closed and arms folded behind his head showing his well-built biceps even though he had lost a lot of weight, a frown marring his beautiful face.

As if sensing her, he opened his eyes and gazed lazily up and down her body. Clary rolled her eyes, knowing that he was undressing her with his eyes but didn't feel creepy like she usually did when she caught gazes on her in public. Jace's eyes were very welcome and his demeanour didn't say that he thought that she was looking anything less than perfect. He stood up, eyes locked on hers and slowly walked towards her. His almost predatory approach reminded her of the first night she met him at Pandemonium. It made her nervous and excited at the same time, like waiting for the result of an examination that you gave well. You hope that you get good marks but that lingering fear of everything going wrong gave you butterflies in the stomach.

The anticipation was too much. When she finally felt the heat emanating from his body and he touched her bare shoulder softly and bent down to her ears, her knees almost gave away. She felt his warm breath on the sensitive skin of her ears and fought to contain the moan threatening to burst out of her throat by biting her lips and tilted her head the other way to expose more skin, all the while clutching onto her towel like a lifeline, like it was the only thing keeping her from melting.

"Get dressed and meet me in Isabelle's room."

The whispered sentence didn't even make sense to her at first, she was feeling too raw and the light bite on her earlobe made the heat in her body almost unbearable. But it was over too soon. When cold air replaced the uncomfortable yet comfortable heat, she opened her eyes just realising that she had closed them at some point and saw Jace leaving the room, his shoulders shaking from obvious laughter at her. That idiot was just teasing her and now laughing from her reaction!

But she was too shaken to even come up with a witty retort.

Huffing with annoyance, she went on her way to get ready.

* * *

Jace had loved the way her body was trembling under his palm and the way she was tilting her head and biting her lip. Her milky smooth skin and the light splattering of freckles and the reddish hue of her cheeks. Her auburn curls, straight from being wet, a splash of color in the otherwise black and white room, sticking to her neck. It had almost made him drag her under the sheets without even locking the door, but he had to make most of his freedom and he wanted to spend some time with Alec and Izzy and explain his predicament and hope that they would not tell anything to Clary. He was dreading seeing the look of hurt, disbelieve and desperation in her eyes that would obviously come when she heard. So he would procrastinate until the last minute or even better, let Alec deal with it.

He rapped on Isabelle's door loudly.

"If you are in any indecent state, please get decent so that my poor vibrant eyes don't lose their vibrancy at such a young age and the bloodsucker doesn't lose his fangs!"

He expected a loud retort from inside or even a high heeled shoe but what he didn't expect was the door flying open and before he could register who the person on the other side was, it launched itself onto him. So naturally he stumbled back a bit before really supporting the weight of his not too small sister and hugged her back.

"Good to see you too, Izzy!" Jace said, laughing from her sudden attack of filial love.

At last she let go and he winced from the throbbing ache on his chest and regained his breath.

"How are you here? Are you okay? How have you been? Have you eaten anything? Shall I make som.."

"Shush" Jace cut her off and continued "Let's just say I'm out on probation. One bad behaviour, in I go. And I'm fine but will not be if you make something to eat because, I'm going to be brutally honest, your eatable is not eatable."

"I'm gonna pretend I never heard that because otherwise I would have to bitchslap you and you are already injured where's Clary?" she said in one breath.

"Clary is getting dressed...after showering." he finished seeing Isabelle's eyebrows rising. "Now can you let me in, or is the bloodsucker naked? Now that will give me PTSD."

"No he's not, we just slept so we are both fully dressed, as for you and Clary, I can't say the same."

Jace shook his head as if to say 'Unbelievable! Think whatever, I don't care.'

He entered the room and acknowledged Simon with the nod and Simon returned the acknowledgement. Boys! Hugging your friend who almost died is reserved for girls. Izzy rolled her eyes and went to the mirror to touch her face up. Just then Alec came in saying "What do you think abou.." but stopped short seeing Jace sitting on the edge of the bed, reclined on one hand and playing with his stele, as if nothing ever happened.

"What the f.."

"Long time no see brother."

Alec crossed the room in one stride and pulled his parabatai in a fierce hug. Jace didn't seem to mind as he was smiling and returning the hug as fiercely.

"Ouch! Alec. Wounded. Can't breathe. Keep your glitter to yourself."

At that Alec let him go and smacked his head, hard.

"Good to see you too buddy." Jace said, rubbing his sore head, sarcasm dripping off the six words.

"How did you get the Inquisitor to let you go?"

"Why is everyone asking this should be so happy to see me that you shouldn't care about the technicalities. Guess I've lost my charm." he shrugged with feigned sadness.

"You know we are." the too good for himself Alec said so as to not hurt his _parabatai_ 's feelings. "But we are just curious and the Inquisitor never does things without having something to gain from it and he would never do a favour for you of all."

"How you destroy my self-esteem! He just likes me too much so he let me go. No repercussions." Jace said and was saved from further questions by Clary entering the room along with Magnus Bane. She immediately moved to Jace's side and leaned on him and he wrapped his arm around her waist.

"Well, well! Look who has finally decided to grace us all with his royal presence. Jace Herondale, nice to see you back with your half insane mind." he said, extending his hand for Jace to shake and added as if saying secretly to Alec "Better than the fully insane, Sebastian controlled mind."

"Good to see you too, Magnus." Jace said accepting the proffered hand "Seems like you've taken good care of my brother." A suggestive smirk following the statement.

Alec started to turn a shade of red from this, from anger or embarrassment only he knew.

"Why yes, I have. Haven't I, Alexander?" Magnus put his arm around Alec's shoulder which Alec jerked off and replied with a curt nod.

"Quite a feat you have agreed to, Jace Herondale. Very commendable. The sacrifice for the greater good is recognised."

Jace's face lost colour at Magnus's words.

"Greater good, sacrifice, what are you talking about?" Clary looked at Magnus and then up at Jace.

Jace seemed to gain control over his face and said "You know staying jailed and all this Sebastian stuff, isn't it?" glaring at Magnus.

Magnus raised his eyebrows, getting the message and nodded in approval. "Can I talk to you for a minute, alone?"

"Yeah sure." said Jace, walking out behind him.

Once they were out of the house Magnus turned to face him. "I take it you haven't told anyone of the little deal you made with the Inquisitor. Seeing that Alec and Clary haven't gone berserk."

"No."

"But you realise that you can't blindside them. They don't deserve that. And that group really cares about you."

"I know and that's exactly why, I just," he turned his back on Magnus in frustration and clenched his fists "I just can't."

"You have to tell them and face the consequences of your decision. Isabelle is a strong woman, she will understand, I'm here for Alec, the only one you have to deal with, alone, is.."

"..is the one I'm dreading to tell the most." Jace finished. "Clary."

"What do have to tell her, Jace?" Isabelle's voice almost made him jump out of his skin. He looked up and saw his sister standing at the doorway of the house. "I came to call you for a very late lunch and couldn't help but overhear you."

"Izzy," he said her name like a plea, telling her to drop it, but he knew it was Isabelle and he had to fess up at some point of the day. "I'll tell you, but you have to promise not to go screaming to Alec and Clary, babbling."

"Okay."

Jace sighed and turned around, readying himself to plunge into the story of the toughest decision he had ever made, peripherally he noticed that Magnus had left them alone.

 _Jace was being escorted to the cells, well more like being shoved forward. He was thankful the Gard was empty except himself. He didn't know if he could've stood to spend days locked up with actual criminals. He was completely exhausted and still bleeding but he wouldn't take a healing rune because he was scared that if Lilith's rune was healed, he would lose his own will again. Entering the cell which was opened for him, he saw that the cell was small, just enough for him to lie down straight. Not much room to walk around. He had seen one of these before when he had come to rescue Simon but he hadn't really looked around. Moonlight streamed through the bars of the gap in the bricks meant to serve as a skylight or a window he didn't know. The whole place was dark and lit by witchlights and a few candles and uncomfortably reminded him of the Bone City. He sighed and was going to sit down when a purposeful clearing of throat made him turn around._

 _"Well, Jace Herondale, your willingness to comply with the Clave until a cure is found is praiseworthy but I would like to discuss another prospect to, let's say, come out of this messy situation."_

 _Jace didn't like where this was going but signed him to continue._

 _"As you have yourself said that you don't know the outcome of this rune being healed." Jace nodded "And this will heal someday, even without a healing rune, and the question of our safety lies in the when."_

 _"Your safety?"_

 _"Well you can't guarantee that you won't become subordinate to Jonathan Morgenstern again and not get in touch with him once it is healed. And you are very resourceful. And that poses a threat for the whole community of Shadowhunters until Jonathan Morgenstern is dead and I don't see any way to kill him in the near future other than.."_

 _"Healing the connection and killing me." Jace finished the obvious._

 _"Unfortunately, yes." The way he said that it didn't seem to Jace that he thought it was at all unfortunate._

 _"So if you agree to it.. I mean you wouldn't want to harm your fellow shadowhunters, would you? Who knows what will go through your mind once it's not yours anymore. You may even harm Clarissa, seeing that she was the one who brought you and Jonathan apart."_

 _All of the Inquisitors word were swirling around in Jace's head like a whirlpool which was sucking in every sliver of the hope that he would be able to have a life with Clary and make it out of this alive. If it was him before that night in Pandemonium, he would've said yes to this already but he had never wanted to live so damn much ever before. He wanted everything with Clary, he wanted to have more time with her, some quiet time where it was just both of them. But what if what the Inquisitor was saying turned out to be true? He didn't have any recollection of what he did when he was under Sebastian's control, what if he hurt Clary or Alec or Izzy? He wouldn't want to live if Clary died because of him. He knew what he was deciding was going to hurt everyone but he also knew that it was right for all of them._

 _"Okay. You get to kill me but after five days. I want to have five days, that is the least I could have. And without a healing rune, it wouldn't heal in five days."_

 _The Inquisitor seemed as if he wanted to argue but then nodded. "Your sacrifice is noted." he said and left Jace alone with his thoughts._

Isabelle was staring at him like he had grown two heads.

"You did what?"

"Basically signed my own death sentence."

"But how could you? We would've found something" Isabelle was hitting Jace on the shoulder in frustration. Jace caught her arms and pinned them to her side.

"Izzy, out of all of them, you are the one who understands what sacrifice is. And I'm doing this for all of us. Sebastian will be dead!" he said trying to make her understand.

"So would you! I can't lose another one of my brothers, Jace!" Isabelle's voice trembled with the thought of the impending horror.

Jace saw that her eyes were glistening with unshed tears and sighed and pulled her into a tight embrace and whispered in ears while stroking her back "I know. And I'm so sorry. But I need you to respect my choice and be strong and be there for Clary. I know you are the bravest."

He felt her shake her head vigorously.

"No, I'm not!"

"You are!" he said, pulling away and looking into her eyes. " You are the strongest shadowhunter I've ever had the fortune to meet, let alone call my sister and have care about me. I feel so lucky, honestly." And he did.

"Woah, so much love. You'll squeeze him to death Izzy, remember he's wounded."

At Alec's voice, Isabelle squeezed him one last time and let go of him.

"Just glad to see my brother, Alec."

"Woah! Jace! You made Izzy cry from happiness! You've done the impossible!" said Alec, incredulously.

"Just my charm, Alec."

"Now let us get back to the table, brother." Izzy pulled Alec back inside, throwing Jace a small sad smile.

Jace was glad that Izzy had not pushed him to tell Alec because she knew breaking the news of your imminent death to your _parabatai_ is not a very fun thing to do and that Jace would want to do that in his own time.

'One down, two to go.' he thought, moving to go back inside.

* * *

Clary was sitting on the kitchen counter beside the table, done with her food. She could sense something was wrong with Isabelle. She was too quiet. But she didn't think about it because she had another matter in hand.

Jace was acting weird. He had suddenly turned up without any explanation whatsoever and was looking at everyone as if he was trying to memorise them. Also Magnus's words. She was brought out of her reverie when Jace came up to her and stood between her dangling legs.

"What's going in your pretty head, huh? You seem out of it." He asked, kissing her hairline softly.

"You."

Clary twined her hands around his neck and he around her waist, although her whole torso fit in one of his arms, and she kissed him, gently, on the mouth. His lips tasted spicy from the food they were eating and she could also taste him. A unique taste that she couldn't pinpoint on anything other than him. Their kissing session was over pretty soon when someone pulled them apart. Both of them protested but stopped when Magnus wedged himself between them.

"Goldilocks, go train with your _parabatai_ while Simon takes Biscuit out for a walk."

This absurd request didn't make sense to her but apparently did to Jace, because he sighed and nodded. A weird look curtaining his eyes.

"But why would I go with Simon, I can train with them."

"No, Biscuit, you go with your best friend while your boy trains with his."

"But.."

"Go with Simon, Clary." Jace said, tiredly. At her disbelieving look he winked and said "I'm all yours for the night, baby." And grabbed Alec and left. Only her and Simon remaining.

"Seems like it's you and me for the rest of the day, Fray."

"By the Angel, Alec! Have you gotten worse?"

They were sparring for the last two hours and Jace always had an edge over Alec. Whether it was because Alec was going easy on him because of his wound or he was doing his best to challenge his _parabatai_ harder to get better for the last time, Jace didn't know. Maybe both or maybe none.

"With what has been going on I didn't exactly get time to train" Alec said with effort because he was being held in a headlock by Jace "or a chance to fight while you did it regularly."

At this, Jace froze. He released Alec and went to the back to the room to get towels.

"I meant train, Jace. Sebastian sure didn't cut you some slack." Alec clarified, sensing the shift in the mood.

Those words didn't calm Jace.

"What did I do while I was under his control Alec?" he asked in an eerily calm voice. "Did you get many reports? How many innocent lives did I take?" Jace's voice was rising in pitch.

"None. As far as I know none."

He laughed humourlessly. "As far as you know."

He was getting convinced by the minute that his decision was right. He didn't deserve to live. He didn't deserve to have the life he wanted with Clary. Maybe the person who had committed those crimes hadn't been him but he should've fought harder. Even if that person wasn't him, he was there inside of him, somewhere and he couldn't afford to let him come back.

"You know, it was not your fault Jace." Alec came up and kept a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

Jace turned around and decided to take the plunge. "Alec, I have to tell you something..."

* * *

Clary and Simon where just about to enter the Lightwoods house, both laughing about the debacle that Clary's fifth birthday was, when suddenly out of nowhere they were joined by Magnus.

"Biscuit, Sheldon, you're back!"

"It's Simon, just so you know." Magnus brushed off Simon's comment as if it were an irritating buzzing fly and turned to Clary "Let us go to the dining room, you must be hungry." he said musically.

"Um.. No thanks. I am going to the training room, I'm expecting Jace is still there."

"Why training room? Such a nasty place!" Magnus waved his hand in front of his nose as if he could smell the sweat from there and wanted to swat it away.

Clary got the message that he was hiding something so she said "Never asked you to come." and ran inside with Magnus following.

On reaching the training room she saw that a very agitated Alec was pushing shoving Jace away who was trying to make him understand something, on seeing Magnus and Clary, Alec turned their way.

"Magnus, did you know about this? How could you not tell me?"

"Alexander, my love. I'm so sorry I didn't tell you about our date tonight. It seems like Jace fessed up, it was supposed to be a surprise." Magnus went to Alec and before he could say anything, pulled him by the collar and planted his lips on his.

It didn't seem to Clary that Alec was talking about a date night "What was he talking about?"

"Date night." Jace said, wiping his brow free of sweat. "C'mon we should plan ours or would you rather we stay in?" he said suggestively. She smacked him on the shoulder.

"Go shower, you stink."

"But you love me." Jace went to pull Clary into a sweaty hug and she protested in vain.

"Now all the sweat is on you. What do you say, shower? Together?"

"Please spare my eyes and take this to your room, Biscuit." Magnus had stopped eating Alec's face and was looking at her with a brow raised while Alec looked like he was low on roughage. Before she could ask anything, Jace pulled her out of the room.

Entering his room, Jace again asked Clary about a shower together which she declined but after a lot of pleading and pouting Clary gave in to his wishes and entered the bathroom, stripped down to her underwear. She turned on the showerhead and mixed the hot and cold water to a perfect temperature and let the water flow over her in a calming manner. She suddenly felt an arm snake around her midrib and her back against something hot. She turned around to see Jace, also stripped down, looking at her intensely. She noticed that his bandage was off and a huge red raw gash across his chest and winced. That had to hurt.

"Why are you refusing a healing rune?" she asked softly, very softly while running her hands down his chest, the pressure matching her tone.

He made a soft sound at the back of his throat and shook his head. His eyes were closed but it didn't seem it was from the pain. He slowly opened his eyes and looked into her own. She felt strangely charged. He slowly leaned down as if asking for permission. She met him halfway in. They kissed for quite a while, Clary lost track of time. She was careful not to touch his wound and caressed his skin softly but he was holding her tightly, as is she could never break and was strong enough to lift both of them. She broke the kiss and turned them around so that Jace was under the running water which had turned cold by then. He gasped, surprised by the cold water for a moment. She slowly scrubbed his back with her hands, without any soap. She saw that the water running down his chest was tinged red. Her eyes started burning for the pain he was feeling but looking up at him she saw that he was staring at her as if this would be the last time he would ever see her like this. As if he was memorising her, as if he was dreading something.

"What is wrong?" she whispered "Tell me."

"I just don't want to lose you, ever."

She sighed and looked at him as if he was insane to even think something like that. She was going nowhere, duh!

"You won't. Ever." she said, pulling him closer.

He leaned forward until their foreheads were touching and closed his eyes and Clary did too. She felt him nod, once.

They both came out of the shower, dripping wet with towels wrapped around them, as Clary had chickened out and not stripped in front of Jace and he, sensing her hesitation, did the same. So they had their wet underwear on under the towels. Jace grabbed a shirt and shorts and went back inside saying that he would just take a minute. Clary nodded and sat down at the corner of the chair, careful so as to not get it too wet.

As promised, Jace came out in a minute and Clary grabbed her pajamas and went in to change. When she emerged fresh and dry, Jace was sitting on the bed, in deep thought. For the first time, he didn't seem to immediately notice the change in his surroundings. Clary took this opportunity to sneak up on him. She slowly went towards him and jumped up on the bed making both of them topple and fall back on the bed with her on Jace. In the blink of an eye he had them turned and was pining her down, face set in stone.

"By the Angel! It's you." he huffed and moved off her. She was laughing uncontrollably at his defensive reflexes which he liked to term as a shadowhunter from birth thing and never admitted to being too jumpy.

"You wanna laugh, huh! You're laughing at me!" Jace said showing false anger and then continued to attack her sides tickling the life out of her. At the end of it they were both panting from laughing so hard and Jace was situated on top of Clary. Suddenly the laughter died out and the ambience changed to a more intense one. Jace was looking down at her with love and passion and she was sure that she was returning the gaze. She pulled him down to her and said "Night out cancelled."

"Couldn't agree more."

Clary pulled his lips down to hers and started kissing him passionately, pouring out all the frustration of being parted, all the hopelessness of having him near but not quite so, all the fear of losing him forever, all the doubt about where his true happiness laid. Though all the doubt was cleared by the way he was reciprocating her pressure on his lips. Its true when people say that the home is where the heart is. And his heart was with her and hers was with him. They were at home with each other. They were happiest with each other.

Somewhere along her line of thoughts Jace had gained dominance and was kissing her neck, alternatively soft and harsh. His hands were roaming all over her torso and sometimes brushing past her breasts. His attention on her body was making her feel things she had never felt before, discover new places of her body where she could feel so heated and charged. She lost a fight and a moan of approval came forth her throat. Jace seemed to be encouraged by that and pushed his hand under her already ridden up T-shirt and touched her chest over her bra. That touch made her feel delighted as well as nervous. She curled her toes and left her body at Jace's mercy. When it was getting too much to control she pulled his face back to hers and kissed him hard. His hands moved from her breasts to her neck, pushing her face into his devouring her taste. His hands were coarse but his lips, although ravished, were gentle enough to mold perfectly with hers. She suddenly realised that her shirt had come off and that his hands were behind her back, working on the hook that kept her somewhat decent and a wave of nervousness and self-doubt washed over her. She made an indignant noise and stopped him. He looked at her face, incredulous and pleading at the same time, begging for permission, permission to love her. She wanted to say yes but decided the opposite. She had a long day and was tired and just wanted to sleep in his arms. This could happen later, after all they had all the time in the world now, didn't they. Well, Sebastian was a nuisance but Jace and her would fight with him together. Now she had her strength back at her side.

"I want to wait, please."

He looked as if he wanted to argue and then seemed to fight with himself. At last he nodded, his pupils dilated but eyes covered with something she couldn't place. A wistful look. But what did he have to be wistful about, she was going nowhere and neither was he.

"It's just that I'm feeling very tired and I just want to sleep with you holding me." she justified herself.

"Of course." he said. "Come here."

She crawled into his arms, nuzzling her face into his neck, careful not to hurt him and sighed a content sigh when she felt his arms surround her body.

* * *

Jace couldn't believe himself. He just couldn't. He had almost disrespected Clary's wish for one moment in his desire to be with her completely before he was gone but then reprimanded himself for even thinking so. If Clary didn't want to, maybe the Universe had decided that she wasn't supposed to be with him. How could she? She was pure and angelic and he was, well, the opposite. He looked at her content sleeping face. He knew he had not taken his chance to tell her the truth. Making love was not in his plan, he just got carried away from after the shower. Then, it had seemed like a good idea, a perfect closure, but now he knew what a terrible idea it was. He just couldn't take something like that from her and then die the next day. It was selfish. He had wanted to make himself permanent in her life but he had no right to. She deserved to move on and find love. Someone who would treat her right and keep her heart safe. He had no right to take her heart with him. He had to return it to her, even if that thought alone made his eyes burn and throat close up. He took a deep breath and looked at her moonlit sleeping face. She looked so perfect. So complacent and content. He wanted to save this image of hers in his mind forever so that he had this image of hers while dying since he was sure that she wouldn't be with him. Hell! he wouldn't be with him. It would be that Jace dying, he was just collateral damage. He sighed and contemplated shaking her awake but it was just midnight. Although he had just few more hours with her, he thought he would let her sleep for a few more. She had wanted to sleep with him holding her, so he would. He would let her have her last bits of comfort. He didn't know when he had dozed off but he was awakened by movement beside him. He opened his eyes and saw Clary looking at him, smiling softly. He almost returned her smile but the reality suddenly slammed into him. He looked at Clary's phone lying on the bed and saw that it was 5 a.m. He had exactly 3 more hours to tell Clary. He had sworn by the Angel that he would be back at 8. Clary must've noticed his dilemma because she touched him on the upper arm and asked what was bothering him. He sat up and walked over to the window, looking out at the beautiful city of Alicante.

"You know how the connection with Sebastian works, right?" he said without turning around.

"Yes." came Clary's tentative reply. He felt her come up behind him and stand waiting for him to explain further.

"Well, you know how I've refused a healing rune because once Lilith's rune is healed, the connection can snap back on."

"Where are you going with this, Jace?"

He turned around to face her. Her eyebrows were drawn in and she had her 'concentrating hard' face on.

"Um.." he hesitated, knowing that that was it. "Even without a healing rune, this cut is not going to stay this way. It will heal normally and when it does I don't know what will happen."

"You don't have to be scared of that. We'll deal with it, together." she said, reassuringly, obviously thinking that that was what was bothering him.

"I don't want to let it come to that, Clary. And Sebastian is always a threat and from what I've gathered, I know that I don't think when I'm connected with him. It is always what he says. What if he gets angry on you and asks me to harm you or Alec or Isabelle? Hell! Even Simon!"

"I really don't like where this is going, Jace. Will you just come out and say clearly what you want to say?" Clary's voice had lost its calm.

"When he bleeds, I bleed and vice versa. We can kill him without even catching him."

Clary's face was white with realisation, "By killing you." she almost whispered in shock. "How can you even think of that?" she shouted, justifiably agitated.

"It's a bit too late to argue on this. The Inquisitor let me out to have my last day with my family. They will heal the rune and if the connection is repaired, my, uh, execution will be at 10." he finished, looking down at his feet.

"Execution? Ten?" she repeated as if hearing the words for the first time. "You mean the Inquisitor is planning to kill you at ten a.m today?!"

He just nodded, not liking the way Clary's voice was rising in pitch. He had known Isabelle would be the easiest to convince and Magnus had helped with Alec but he had to deal with Clary alone.

"How can he do that?! He can't just decide to kill someone on his own!"

"I can, say yes though!"

"What?!" she screeched. "You said yes to this?" she said in an unnaturally clam manner. Quite different from her voice a minute before.

"I can't take the chance of hurting you Clary!" he defended himself. "Any one of you. I don't want to live under his control and this is the quickest way of ending all of the problems."

"You think you dying is the panacea?"

"It'll kill Sebastian and keep you safe, I don't want to see you hurt Clary." he pleaded.

"You don't want to see me hurt! You think you dying wouldn't hurt me? Oh! wait, you wouldn't have to see me hurt cause you'll be too dead to do that!"

"You know that's not the way I meant it, I'm doing this for you and all of the.."

"Don't you dare! Don't you dare make this about me. Or Alec or Izzy. This is not about us, it's about you! You have always had a death wish, I thought you change but you never did!.."

"Clary, I.."

She cut him off, still very angry. "You still have that huge death wish and you are selfish, very selfish! You never care about anything that happens to us! You don't want to fight anymore and are just taking the easy way out! You do not care about the consequences of any action of yours and just desperately don't want to end up like your parents! You just care about fame and attention. You want to die a hero and _that's_ what this is about!"

Jace flinched. Every one of her words were like knives embedding in his skin. He shook his head trying to tell her how wrong she was. He had changed! She had made him change! He actually thought about the consequences of doing something. This wasn't about him. He didn't want to be a hero. All he wanted was her. A life with her.

"You know what? You were never Jace Lightwood. Because Jace Lightwood has a family and anyone with a family would never dream about leaving them. You are Jonathan Herondale. Named after another child, as an experiment with no one in his family. You were Jonathanan Herondale when you signed your own death sentence!"

He had expected her to be angry but this was totally unexpected. Her words made his throat feel like he had swallowed rocks and his tongue was lead. He couldn't speak, couldn't protest, couldn't beg her to stop because she was hurting him more than any Valentine Morgenstern or Sebastian or any weapon ever could. He could just stare at her tear stricken face and try to make sense of the words she was throwing at him. He was Jace Lightwood, wasn't he? He had felt the indecision and the hurt of leaving his family forever.

"Why did you pursue me, huh?" she wiped her tears, none too gently "Why pursue me and make me fall in love with you when you were planning to leave me all the while? First you went behind Sebastian and Valentine, alone and now this? How much do you want to hurt me before you've had enough!?"

"Clary." he could only say her name and went to take a step towards her, to hold her and make her realise how much he loved her but she put one hand up and took a few steps back, away from him.

"Don't, just don't." She turned around and ran out of there. Jace could just stare from where he was standing. His mind was telling him to go after her and to fix this because he didn't have much time left, but his feet stayed frozen. He looked around the ground in panic as if the answer to all of this was lying there. He took a few rattling breaths and finally got his feet to comply. He ran out of the house and saw Clary sitting with Simon and sobbing while he was hugging her.

Jace didn't move. At that moment something told him that it was better off this way. Clary hating him was good. He suddenly felt free. All the manacles of love and family had fallen open. He was truly Jace Herondale who had to think about no one. He could just die a hero and be buried in the Bone City. The highest respect that any shadowhunter could ever get. He turned around and went back to his room and took his stele and left from the backdoor and started towards the Gard. It was early but early does no harm.

* * *

At first Clary couldn't make any sense of the things Jace was saying but when they had barely sunk in, a cold started seeping up her and she could feel the cold slowly eat away all the warm possibilities of the future she could've had. She felt time slip out from between her fingers and however hard she tried she couldn't grasp it. She was still having a hard time coming to terms with what she just heard. She ran out to the front porch to try and get some air. What was he saying? He has given himself up to the Clave for execution? The last few moments where blurry in her mind. She couldn't even fully recall what she had been saying. She just knew that whatever she had said had struck him very hard. His face had lost all its colour and he didn't even speak. He had tried to take a step towards her but she had just run. What does a person do when who they love tells them they are going to be killed in a few hours and they had themselves signed the suicide letter? She was at a loss. She didn't have enough time to save him. And she hated that she had hurt him so much. She was crying with frustration, anger, sadness. She felt someone come up behind her.

'Jace.' she thought.

She turned around but it was Simon. Seeing her best friend something in her unlocked and all of the things she was holding in came rushing out.

"Simo.." she couldn't even finish his name before she started blubbering. He immediately knelt down and gathered her in his arms.

"I know." he said stroking her hair "Isabelle told me."

After quite a while she composed herself. "How could he, Simon?"

"I don't know, Fray. I don't know." he just held on tighter to her. "We all are here for you. We will always be."

At thus she bolted upright, eyes blazing "So you're giving up? Izzy and Alec, they are giving up?" She ran into the house to his room but it was empty, he was gone.

She dashed into Isabelle's room and found her sitting on the bed staring at nothing. She shook the raven haired girl alive and screamed "You are just going to sit here and let your brother die?"

"We can't do anything, Clary. You know Jace."

"So you are just going to sit here, doing nothing, what if it was Alec or..or Max, huh?"

Isabelle stood up, angry, "Are you trying to say that I don't think of Jace as my brother?"

"That is exactly what I'm saying. You think of Jace as your brother, he really isn't." Clary spat, and suddenly felt a stinging pain on her right cheek. Isabelle had slapped her hard, right across the face.

"Snap out of it! For your information, you are not the only one who loves him, who would be hurt if he was gone!"

"When."

"Huh?"

"That 'if' is no more, it's 'when' now."

Isabelle opened her mouth as if to say something but nothing came out. Instead she just hugged Clary tightly. Clary's hands dangled at her sides but she tiredly rested her head on Isabelle's shoulder, all the fight going out of her. They both pulled back when Simon came in and asked where Alec was.

"He wouldn't calm down and there was nothing he could do so Magnus was keeping him company."

"He's sedated." came the voice of the said warlock. Magnus walked to them and ruffled Clary's hair lovingly, "I know what happens when a parabatai dies. They feel the exact physical pain and Jace didn't want Alec to go through that, so he asked me to do it. He said that the Inquisitor wasn't planning to be exactly gentle while killing him because they have to make sure that Sebastian is reacting and torturing Jace can potentially pull the bastard into Idris to save his own life."

Clary had turned to stone. She kind of heard what Magnus was saying but only registered two words 'torture' 'Jace'.

She turned around and left the house running towards the Gard barely aware of the voices calling her name. Only one thing on her mind. She had to save Jace. He couldn't die knowing she hated him. He couldn't die. Period.

* * *

 **A.N: So? Tell me what you think while it's still fresh in your mind. Click the review button below.**


	3. The End

**A.N: Careful. This one is heavy.**

* * *

Jace walked into the Inquisitors office unceremoniously.

"Ah! You're back. Although I would've appreciated knocking, I'm glad that you didn't run."

"I swore on the Angel." Jace said, his voice wiped clean of any emotion. No one would ever guess that he had just gone through so much of turmoil.

"So if you hadn't, you would've run?"

Seeing Jace frown, he just laughed.

"Just kidding! The knowledge of your honour is more widespread than your name is. Just trying to lighten the situation."

"We are not kids, Inquisitor. I am here so get on with your work. I hope you remember my deal."

"Oh! yes." The Inquisitor came as if to touch Jace jokingly on the shoulder but his stony glare made him falter. He cleared his throat and put his hands behind his back. "Yes of course. The execution will take place on the grounds of the Wayland ruins."

Jace nodded once. He had asked for this because he had turned poetic for a while. He had no one to care about him when he was born and grew up there and it would just be fair for things to end there. Life would come a full circle. But he couldn't admit this so he had said that it would be easier for Sebastian to reach them outside of Alicante.

"Its 9:00 a.m. so would you like to wait or..."

"I don't care." Although he feigned nonchalance, his heart was beating rapidly and he was very nervous, scared and ached to have Clary, Alec or even Simon by his side. But he couldn't ask them that. He hoped Magnus had found out a way to spare Alec the pain of dying. And Clary, he thought of the serene face of hers and tried to calm himself down.

The Inquisitor signed for him to move forward so that they could portal there. Reaching the portal he saw that there was a little team of shadowhunters standing there, few of them holding swords and whips. His throat dried up at the sight of those but he never showed any weakness. He stood stoically waiting for the portal to be opened.

"Ah! Here you are! Our dearest magician! Come on warlock, don't be tardy."

Jace turned around and was marginally surprised to see Magnus Bane. 'So that's how Magnus knew before everyone else' he thought, that fact had not even struck him then because he was too distracted.

"You don't hold your tongue, Shadowhunter and you wouldn't be able to stop it from wiggling." Magnus said, menacingly clicking his fingers.

The Inquisitor was visibly uncomfortable of the idea of a non-stop dancing tongue and loosened his tie.

"If I open this portal, you know that you have to pay a handsome price, even more handsome than the boy you want to behead." tilting his head towards Jace "And that is saying something because if I preferred blondes I would totally go for him and I don't say that often and I have lived for a long time."

"Well, unfortunately we couldn't get any other warlock so you are our best bet and we are ready to pay whatever price."

"Are you sure?" Getting an affirmation, he continued. "What if I ask for his life?"

The Inquisitor seemed baffled "But, you can't."

"Why yes, I can."

"No you can't." This time it was Jace. "This portal needs to be opened so that we can reach the Wayland manor or whatever that's left of it so that I can be executed. With my life spared you won't need to open the portal so you won't be doing anything that ensues a price."

"Yeah, what he said." The Inquisitor made a face as if all that logic had come out of his own head and not Jace's.

Magnus glared at Jace as if he wanted to turn him into bread that a duck loves to eat but the golden boy didn't move an inch. "Okay, then I would like to bring two of my friends with me to be witness to this historical moment that is going to be created."

Jace was a bit confused but then he saw none other than Isabelle and Clary coming towards them. He sucked in a forced breath because Clary looked absolutely woeful. Her eyes had turned the same shade as her hair and looked swollen, her cheeks were pale but patched with red spots and there was a red mark on her right cheek which looked like someone's palm. He immediately wanted to find out who had dared to slap Clary like that and give them a piece of his mind. Her hair harshly pulled back and her lips pursed and her shoulders staunch, she looked like an angel out for revenge. He felt good that she was there but at the same time didn't want her to see him get killed. He didn't want to plague her nightmares. He didn't want his sister there either. He looked at Magnus and was about to protest but Izzy's glare made him shut it.

"Isabelle Lightwood and Clarissa Morgenstern. Well okay, they can follow us but I'm warning you this is not going to be pretty."

"You're killing my brother, assface! I'll show you pretty." Isabelle made as if to lunge at the Inquisitor but his fellow shadowhunters held her back.

"Normally you would be punished for insulting the Inquisitor but I am a very kind man and I understand the mire you are in so I will let this slide." he looked as if he deserved an applause.

"Now, if you will.." he showed Magnus forward.

Magnus opened the portal and went through with the band of Shadowhunters and the Inquisitor following, Jace going to go next but at the last moment Clary took his hand and squeezed it and they went through together.

* * *

The place looked exactly the same as it had the last time he had been there. The only change was that there was a lot of more people there. He saw Mayrse standing there, hand on her eyes and forehead. Obviously disturbed for losing another kid. He didn't know most of them but recognised Amatis and Jocelyn and Luke. Jocelyn seemed like she wanted to rush to her daughter. Although she had no regard for his life and probably was somewhat thankful that both of Valentine's spawns would be dead in an hour, she looked shaken up about Clary and also probably about her first born. Clary was silently hanging onto him and he was grateful for that. Although she was angry, she was there to support him and that meant so much to him. But he had to let go.

"Come here, Jace Herondale."

Jace obliged and went to the place where a chain had been wrapped around a broken marble boulder and on either sides of the chain handcuffs were hanging. The same was done a bit below. Perfect for his height. He gulped and went forward and stood with his back aligned with the boulder

Someone came and cuffed his hands and ankles to the boulder. When he had said that he was okay with this he hadn't meant he was okay with being fettered in chains in front of so many people. He hadn't thought that this would be such a spectacle. Now he felt raw and vulnerable as if someone had publicly stripped him naked. He subconsciously pulled on the chains. His eyes searched for Clary. When they found her, he saw no traces of tears on her face. She was standing strong and taller than he felt. She came up to him and softly kissed him on the forehead and said that she was proud of him. She didn't care about the crowd. It was just him and her. She pressed her lips to his and at once he felt shielded from every intruding eye. He wanted to break free of those goddamned chains so that he could hold her tightly to himself. But he knew that it would do no good and that he would change into him in no time and these chains will protect her, from _him_. He reciprocated as much as he could and then broke free from her comforting embrace.

"Promise me, Clary, that you would not pay heed to any of his pleas and always know that this is what I want and respect that."

Clary nodded, somberly.

"And I don't think that once the connection is repaired, it will be broken again till we're both dead so this is our last meeting and I want you to know how much I love you." he whispered, feeling an ache at the back of his throat.

Clary looked like she wanted to burst into tears and was fighting to keep her composure "I know, Jace. I know." she caressed his face and looked up, into his eyes, trying to commit to memory the feel of his face under her palm. "And I never meant what I said before. You may be Jace Herondale but first you are Jace Lightwood and the Lightwoods know the meaning of sacrifice. You have a brother and a sister who would miss you and you have a mother who loves you. And even if you didn't, you will always have me."

He leaned into the safe haven of her hand on his face and let her words wash over him. Washing out every piece of self-doubt that had ever haunted him. If this beautiful soul loved him then he must've done something right.

"Hate to break this up but we need to proceed."

Clary didn't even care that the Inquisitor was standing right behind her and kissed Jace full on the mouth as if her life depended on it. It was very different from any other kiss. Physically Jace couldn't use his hands to prop her up so he just had to crane his neck down and she was almost on the tips of her toes. Normally that would've been painful but they didn't care. She was kissing him goodbye. She was kissing him to say that she loved him alive or dead. She was kissing him to tell him that she was proud of him, his every perfection and every flaw. She was kissing him to tell him that even if it will hurt, she knew what this meant to him and respected that and loved him enough to let him go. She was kissing him to tell him that he didn't have to worry about anything, that she would hold the fort down. And he got every message in capital letters. And he just had one. His gratitude and love.

It was over too soon, someone pulled her back and she let them. The Inquisitor pulled out his stele and announced that it was time. Jace closed his eyes, preserving the last memory of Clary looking so strong wearing an armour of love and sacrifice. He felt the familiar burn of a stele on his skin and waited, waited for everything to end.

* * *

Clary was waiting for Jace to show any sort of movement. From the time his rune had been healed he had just stood with eyes closed. He was not sleeping or unconscious because he was standing upright without any support. Nobody could tell if the connection had been repaired. She was hoping against hope that it won't be and everything will be okay but just then his eyes flew open, squinting, as if he had been in the dark for a long time and the bright sunlight hurt his eyes. His eyes were unfocused for a while and then they fell on her own. And all her hope went away. He hadn't even spoken but from his eyes she could tell that her Jace was gone. A confused haze was on his eyes. He was back under Sebastian's control. They were going to kill him. His first words just confirmed her fear.

"Clary, why are we hear and why am I in chains?" he looked around as if to figure out what was happening. "I don't really remember what happened, why can't I?"

Clary kept mum. She knew that that was what Jace wanted. The Inquisitor obliged. "You are currently under the control of Jonathan Morgenstern, you previously were too but your bond was broken for a moment and because a part of this bond says that if you bleed he bleeds too, you decide to sacrifice yourself for killing Jonathan Morgenstern."

"Sacrifice, control? " he asked dumbfounded "What is he saying Clary? You know that Jonathan is planning something good for us, the Clave is bad and infiltrated by demons. You know that. Why would I want to kill him? And I know that we are bound by blood because we are brothers almost but he doesn't have a control over my mind!"

Clary felt like she wanted to tell him everything but she also felt like playing along with him and tell him to fight and break free so that she could save him. But she knew that he would have wanted her to honour his wish so she still didn't speak.

"You cannot talk to her. Just me."

"I am talking to my girlfriend. What the fuck do you mean I can't talk to her?"

"You yourself have previously said that you be prohibited to talk and plead to her perchance she gets swayed by your words and does the wrong thing."

"I never said anything like that. I do not recollect."

"You won't. But just knew that this was what you wanted, your death in return of everyone's safety."

"Why will I ever.." he huffed "Jonathan would never let you harm me."

Clary closed her eyes, defeated. Her Jace would never rely on anyone to save him.

"That is exactly what we are counting on, Jace Herondale."

The Inquisitor signed for his men to start the torture session. One of them with a whip went forward and slashed right across Jace's chest, tearing through the flimsy material of the shirt he was wearing and through a layer of his skin.

Clary peripherally noticed Isabelle hiding her face in Magnus's chest, eyes purposely sealed shut. She noticed that the whip they were using were coated with glass shards and was doing the most damage it could. This continued for what seemed like hours. People alternatively slashing at the body she loved so much with swords and whips. Jace's groans and cries along with his blood spraying. Her whole being wanted to rush to his side or turn around and not watch but she could do neither. She could just stare. She knew that this image was never going to leave her mind. It was going to haunt her in nightmares all her life. Suddenly everything stopped and the crowd started murmuring, some of them had their hands on their weapon belt. She turned around and saw her menace of a brother walk towards them, clapping his hands as if admiring a fine view.

"What a spectacle! You people really have taste. Such a fine place." Jonathan Morgenstern said waving his hand out to encompass the whole place "Life comes a full circle, end it where it started. Must have been Jace's idea, wasn't it?" when the Inquisitor kept mum, he laughed and pointed at the bleeding, gasping boy on his knees, hands held up by cuffs.

"See I know my brother. He has such fine taste in poetry and music, amazing really. Virtuoso. Savant. Well and all other synonyms of that." he said dramatically. "But also foolish and self-destructive and too empathetic." he walked around to Clary's side and leaned in towards her but said in quite a loud voice "You see I knew that once he gets out he will try to join back and get me killed, of course getting killed in the process too. So I contacted my mother." When all eyes went to Jocelyn "No no, not her. My real mother. She was sort of a surrogate. Just gave birth to me, did nothing a mother does."

"You mean Lilith."

"Why yes, warlock. My mother. She heard my problem and just reversed the bodily bond with Jace but I asked her to keep the mind control thing because I just wanted to have fun. But I do have a heart" he placed his hand in his chest "And I didn't want my innocent little brother to die and a lapdog with good taste would come handy, so I took the pain of coming here and stopping you from killing him for nothing."

"Why are you doing this, just let him go." Clary asked, finding her voice.

"Well, I actually wanted you, sister dearest, but you wouldn't come on your own so I used him as bait and found him to be good company. So if you want we can get out of here and get our little family back."

Clary just turned her face the other way.

The Inquisitor shouted in frustration and slashes a whip across Jace's chest making the almost unconscious boy gasp in pain. But Clary heard another gasp right behind her. She saw Jonathan clutching at his chest, blood seeping through his white shirt.

"He was bluffing." Someone in the crowd shouted and the torture on Jace started again.

Clary's head was almost going to burst from the anguished screams and entreating cries of her name and she suddenly heard a whimper from the blonde boy without shackles groaning beside her on the ground. "Mother!"

She understood that Jonathan had not been bluffing. He had truly believed that Lilith had somehow saved him, that she actually cared.

"Stop!"

Everyone saw a petite woman come forward from nowhere. She was dressed in a black saree and her makeup was bold. Black lipstick. Her hair was jet black and her skin was greenish. Though she looked very different, Clary recognised her from the church of Talto. Lilith. The mother of all demons.

"Stop hurting my son."

"Who are you?"

"Lilith." It was Magnus who answered.

"I would say pleasure to meet you, Magnus Bane, but this a very messy predicament. You see I did break the physical bond between my son and the Herondale boy but it seems that it hasn't worked. You wouldn't have had anything to do with it I suppose."

Magnus, who still had a hand on an irate Isabelle's waist, laughed. "The mother of all demons is saying that my magic nulled hers? My my, I'm very flattered but unfortunately, no."

Clary turned back to see the Inquisitor holding a huge sword to Jace's neck, while his eyes where closed and head lolled to a side. She barely stopped herself from screaming when he coughed, splattering blood. Just then Magnus spoke, "Maybe the bond wasn't broken."

Just to prove she was right, Lilith cut a gash across Jonathan's arms with her nails. Jonathan gasped but Jace did not. His arm didn't have the same mark.

But the Inquisitor pressed the sword a little into Jace's neck and Jonathan bled with him.

"Maybe I can shed some light on this." Magnus piped up. Everyone looked at him expectantly. "When Sebastian was brought back by Lilith, Jace was used as a counterweight. That is nature's law. Balance has to be there. But when Jace was resuscitated, it was Angel Raziel himself and the Angel may do as he pleases. So Sebastian's life it naturally tied to Jace but Jace is as normal as any other living person, that is if you don't count his unnatural compulsion to sacrifice himself at every moment. No sense of self-preservation in that kid I tell you." He shook his head in hopelessness then continued, "Lilith here had started doing a great job of using Jace's restored life from the very start and after Sebastian was revived, he left with Jace and Lilith had her own mind control magic going on so nobody ever could single out this bond of nature's. Commendable, on Lilith's part." he tilted his head towards her as if two pals congratulating each other for something good. "And when you tried undoing it, only the bond that made every cut on one appear on the other was broken but the basic life for life thing remained so all the earlier torture on Jace didn't phase Jonathan but as one gets closer to death, it starts affecting the other. That is why the almost fatal neck injury was mirrored."

Clary turned around at Isabelle's scream. The Inquisitor had raised the sword and was poised to end this for one and all. Magnus snapped his finger and everyone except Clary, Isabelle, Lilith, and the boys in question went inanimate. "So much noise is not good for good conversation."

Clary rushed to Jace's side and went to put a healing rune on him but he flinched back as much as his injuries and manacles would let him.

"Hey, it's okay. It's just me." she again tried to touch him but he moved away.

"I would die before taking a healing rune from you. Clary Fairchild." he spat. She faltered from seeing the contempt in his eyes. "He warned me, Sebastian warned me that you are just like your mother. Pretending to love and then backstabbing. I was a fool to have not listened to him." he hung his head like all that talking had tired him out. Although it hurt her to hear hate lacing her name from his mouth, she thought about when she had equally hurt him and she wasn't even under any influence. So she just bit her lip and kept quiet. She just crouched by him just in case.

Lilith turned to the prostate and bloody Jonathan and picked him up as if he didn't weigh a lot more than her not to mention was taller. " As a reward of sparing my son's life I would be willing to take him back to my dimension, successfully tearing the mental connection with Jace." Clary was surprised by the waver in her voice. Was it possible that Lilith, the Mother of all demons, actually cared about Jonathan as her son? Or else why would she risk so much and come here to just save him? The revelation was very shocking for Clary. Shocking but somehow believable.

"You know that travel between nature does not nullify nature."

"Yes and that is why I am willing to have everything in my arsenal to protect your Jace from any life threatening danger."

"Deal." Clary said. Magnus glared at her.

"Okay then." Lilith went the same way as she came. Just disappeared into thin air but this time with Sebastian.

Magnus snapped everyone back to life grumbling something about foolish young love.

"What is happening here?"

"My dear high and mighty Inquisitor, everything here is neatly cut and dried, though I wouldn't say actually dried."

"What do you mean, warlock?"

"It's Magnus Bane, High warlock of Brooklyn. Get your facts straight Inquisitor. And Lilith is gone with dear ole' Sebby and left our Jace squeaky clean."

"What? Why did you let her leave?"

"Everything is fine, what is your problem? Sebastian is gone and we have Jace." Clary interjected. "Open his manacles!"

"Yes it is true that Sebastian is gone and you can safely open Jace's hand and legs." Magnus pressed her cause. "But I wouldn't say that all problems have ended."

Few of the shadowhunters went and freed Jace and at once he fell down like the chains had been the only thing holding him up. Clary went forward and sat down on the ground and pulled his head on her lap and saw that his eyes were closed but thankfully he was still breathing. She cradled his head and continued caressing his face trying to ease a bit of his pain.

"I would say all is well but I'm afraid it isn't."

"Can you stop speaking in riddles Magnus!" It was Isabelle's impatient voice, clearly worried about her brother who was lying limp in Clary's arms.

"You see they are still bound and will forever be but it is one sided now. Anything that happens to Jace will happen to Sebastian in whatever realm. Sebastian is part greater demon but he is also part shadowhunter. So he can easily come here, lock Jace up and wreak havoc on the world. If his shadowhunter part dies, he will be like any other demon who we can ward off by the demon towers and whose corporeal form is stuck in Lilith's realm. If we got him today, he would be gone. Well as gone as a demon can be."

"So you are saying that we can still carry out our previous plan?" The Inquisitor sounded unnaturally gleeful.

"No!" Clary said with a finality. "Sebastian will still continue to be a danger."

"The danger will be exponentially less, Biscuit."

"And Jace will be gone." she said, wrapping one hand around his chest to protect the defenceless Jace. "He is Alec's parabatai half of Alec's soul will be gone, do you want that!"

"This is not personal, Clary. I was just saying what I know."

"No." Clary shook her head vigorously.

Under her palm, Jace's eyes fluttered open. He looked up at her face but for a moment didn't seem to recognise her. And then groaned from pain radiating all over his body.

"Hey, you're okay, it'll be okay." Clary stroked his face and ran her hands through his hair. "Izzy give me your stele!"

"No." Jace tried to sit up but failed to move an inch. He feebly again said "No." His voice was scratchy and he was breathing with a lot of difficulty.

"Just lie still Jace. It'll go away." Clary tried to make him comfortable but he seemed restless. After a while he said "I heard."

She knew at once what he had heard.

"Absolutely not."

"But Clary you heard what Magnus said, he can be defeated."

"But I can't lose you.."

"We were ready Clary."

"No." she shook her head desperately trying to convey her fears to him without saying anything "I thought I was ready this morning but now I know I'm not. I just got you back, we haven't had any time."

Jace lifted a shaking hand and cupped her face, the blood on his palm getting smeared on her face. He smiled weakly at her.

"I know. And I would do anything to have more time with you."

Clary placed her hand on top of his on her face and tangled their fingers on his chest and squeezed his hand. "Please don't leave me." Her words came out choked with tears and they dripped onto his forehead and slipped into the side of his eyes and down his face, making it seem as if he was crying too. Maybe he was, she couldn't tell. He closed his eyes and sighed and looked at Isabelle and Magnus and then at last at the Inquisitor. He took Clary's hand and brought both of them down to his chest and squeezed them. Once.

"Do it, now!" his sudden strong ordering voice made her jump but then she noticed the Inquisitor raise the sword and bring it down, hard, on his stomach right above his navel. She wanted to move, to cover him but his head was on her lap and he was holding on to her hand with astonishing strength preventing her from doing anything. She struggled against his hold but couldn't do anything as he was again stabbed, this time on the lower ribs. He jerked up coughing blood. She heard someone scream and suddenly realised that the voice was hers. She looked down and saw Jace's eyes fluttering and face scrunched in pain. His lips were red from his own blood and he was still holding onto her, this time from pain. She felt hours pass before he slowly opened his eyes, bloodshot, and took rattling breaths before speaking but only a garbled sound came out. She lowered her head to hear him clearly.

"I am sorry that I made your first experience of love so traumatic." he wheezed.

"No, you didn't. I love you Jace."

"Promise me, Clary, that you won't be too sad and will not close yourself off to love in fear of getting hurt."

She shook her head and squeezed his hands "I won't I promise."

"I know it is hard to find someone to compare to me." he tried to shrug and winced "But you will keep looking." Even in so much pain, he was trying to make her happy.

She tried to smile through tears but it mostly looked like a grimace. "I will have Alec run a background check on every guy I meet, would that please you?" she joked back.

He slowly nodded "Yes. That would be nice. If any guy treats you badly I will haunt him and make life miserable." Although his tone was light she saw the pain in his eyes. And she knew that this was not from the various wounds on his body and the fact that he was currently bleeding to death, it was the thought of her falling for another.

"Let me heal you, please." she tried to coax him. But he was not having it. He closed his eyes and Clary's panic increased. She felt him squeeze her hands with a weak grip. She sniffled. "I would love it if you haunt me for the rest of my life."

At this he opened his eyes, this time filled with tears. He just nodded. "Kiss me."

And she did, not caring about the blood and grime on his lips, she kissed him till she felt him give her his breath but not take hers back. She squeezed his hand but never got a response and she knew that from that moment, she never will. She sat up straight and looked into the serene face of Jace and for the first time wished for him to frown or cry or scream at her or do absolutely anything. But she never cried.

* * *

 **A.N: So? Did you cry? I didn't mean to be so mean and make you cry, I promise. (Swears innocently while laughing the evil laugh.)**


	4. Magical Reality

**A.N: See, I'm nice. I'm giving you alerts. Cry alert! Get tissues alert!**

* * *

Alec woke up groggy, rubbing his eyes,he saw Magnus sitting at his head, lost in thought. He was going to touch his boyfriends face when suddenly everything came rushing back to him. He jumped to his feet and just said one name "Jace".

Magnus looked up at him, "Sit down, Alec. Please."

"No what happened, you knocked me out? What were you thinking?"

"Alexander, calm down!"

"Calm down?! My parabatai was talking about sacrificing himself and you are telling me to calm down?!"

"Alexander,.."

"Don't you tell me what to do, why can't I feel him, what have you done?!"

Alec was almost screaming. He knew that it wasn't Magnus's fault but you know everyone takes anger out on the person they love very much because they know they will be forgiven. He couldn't feel his parabatai. And that was killing him. Magnus reached out to touch him but he flinched back. "Tell me, Magnus."

"Jace told me to do this so that you don't feel any pain."

"Where is Jace?"

"When does a parabatai not feel his other half?"

Alec collapsed on the bed "He can't be.. He isn't.. he is dead?"

He said that as if he was asking a question and stating something at the same time. Magnus sat down beside him and put his arms around his shoulder. This time Alec didn't protest. He just leaned back tiredly into his boyfriends chest letting him support all his weight. His body shaking from the silent tears and he could feel Magnus's shirt being soaked but he didn't care, Magnus didn't seem to either because he just clung onto his weeping boyfriend who was reeling from the shock and pain of losing his parabatai.

* * *

It had been half a day since she saw another of her brothers die right in front of her eyes. Isabelle hadn't grown up with Jace, she hadn't even liked him very much when he first came. He was arrogant and stand offish and didn't treat Isabelle like the princess she wanted to be but as she grew older it had been Jace who encouraged her and didn't baby her. He always knew that she was tough and treated her with the same respect he would give to a man. She valued that more than anything. She knew it wasn't fair to Jace, he didn't deserve to die but he deserved the respect he got for sacrificing himself for all of the world. She had seen Jocelyn of all people fight with the Inquisitor to give Jace the highest honour a shadowhunter could receive. He was going to be cremated in the Bone City. That's all he ever wanted until Clary came along that is. Then his death wish was almost gone but this time things were bigger than Clary and he had always been selfless. She knew he would expect her to look out for Alec and Clary so she did. Alec didn't smile or laugh but then who did. But he was fine, recovering with Magnus's help. She had Simon with her but what worried her most was Clary. She was not grieving. She was too normal. That made her worry that she was not thinking about what had happened and later this would attack her at once and it would be more than she can take. She had herself tried to talk to her but had found her sketching faces of happy families, she said she was fine and wanted to be left alone but Izzy was always worried. She just wanted for time to pass so that things would be okay or she would get used to this. She knew people did, she did after Max.

* * *

Clary had taken permanent residence in the Lightwoods house and never talked to anyone who connected her to him. She didn't want to think about that. She talked with random people, drew random stuff, never letting her mind face the reality. Izzy tried to talk to her and she gathered that he was going to get a very respectable burial. She went down to the dining room and found Isabelle there. She opened the fridge without acknowledging her and took something to eat out. Izzy noticed her and came up to her.

"Hey, how are you?"

"I am fine. Just wanted something to eat."

Isabelle nodded "Can I show you something?"

"Sure, I'll just keep this back."

"You don't have to," The taller girl took the container out of her hand and kept it on the table and pulled her out of the house. Izzy took her to the Hall of Accords and then to the way down to the Basilias. She knew what was there. She resisted but Isabelle dragged her along.

"You are in denial, you need to see this."

"No, you can't force me."

"Watch me!"

As soon as they entered her eyes found the white cloth covered familiar shape.

Isabelle pointed at it and said, rather screamed, "That is Jace, Clary! He is gone. He is being kept here to be cremated later tomorrow!"

"I know, I Know, I KNOW!" Clary felt tears run down her cheeks and she was being inundated with memories, Jace's smile, Jace's smirk, Jace's gentle touch, his jokes, his kisses. They were all memories. Good memories bad memories but memories and she will never be able to make any more, she will never be able to feel his touch, she will never be able to kiss him, she will never be able to hear him laugh, she will never be able to hear how much he loves her.

Isabelle's words rang in her ears.

Gone. Cremated. Tomorrow.

She will never ever be able to see him again. She turned around in hysterics and ran and ran until she reached his room and locked the door and fell forward on her knees. She missed everything. She just wanted him to hold her tight and promise her that things will be okay but she never got what she wanted and never will. His bloodied face as he told her he loved her for the last time came to her mind, she saw his favourite jacket hanging on a hook and cried even harder. She doubled over herself. That was all she had left of the person who could comfort her with his mere presence. She thought back to the night before and felt a deep regret. Jace knew he was going to die so he had initiated making love to her but she had denied him, now she would never get another chance to show him that all of her self was his. She ultimately passed out from crying so hard.

* * *

She was awakened by a banging on the door and Isabelle's voice. Her head was aching and her eyes felt like needles were piercing straight through them to her brain. She just screamed for Isabelle to go away and leave her alone. After a while she went away and Clary curled up with Jace's jacket on the bed and new tears started pouring down her eyes. This time there was no angel to give Jace back to her. The next time she woke up, it was night, more like early morning because a bit of light was starting arise from the horizon. Her head felt like she had been drugged. She was all groggy and confused. She noticed the jacket behind her and picked it up and threw it down, in rage. She would never take him back even if he came back to her. But then she herself picked the jacket up and pressed her face in it. Of course she would take him back. All she wanted was him to be back. Just then a knock sounded on the closed door.

"Go away, Isabelle. I'm not hungry."

"Izzy said you might be a bit bitchy at this hour of the morning but most would throw everything away to get a good look at me."

She knew she was dreaming. It couldn't have been morning so fast and it absolutely cannot be Jace at the door.

She went to open the door as she felt that at once her dream would break but it didn't. Standing in front of her in peak health was Jace himself. No scars nothing. He smiled at her. A genuine happy smile that made her insides melt.

She was completely confused, she even toyed with the idea that she died from grief or that she suddenly could see ghosts but at last wrote it off to a dream.

"I never want this dream to end"

A frown marred his features and then realisation took its place. He stepped inside the room and she stepped back, thinking if she touched him he would disappear and she just wanted to relish the sight of him. He picked his hand up and went forward to touch her but she moved away.

"Clary, this is not a dream. You are wide awake."

"How can this not be a dream. I saw you die. Felt you die."

"And here I am, not dead. The Angels didn't keep me, something along the lines of how I would be a tough competitor in glamour and beauty and radiance."

Clary was confused. How was this happening. She didn't let herself believe that he was back because she knew she wouldn't be able to face the disappointment when she woke up.

His face softened. "I'm real I promise, see.." he extended his arm.

Clary cautiously moved her fingers to touch him. He felt warm and real but his hands were not scratched and cut. Clary began doubting everything.

"Everything happened, Clary." He held her hand firmly. "I did die and then it was Ithuriel. We freed him remember so he was indebted to us and he has a kind of special attachment to you. You were calling out to him probably and he saved me. And also a bit of ego clash with Lilith, I guess. She came down to save her blood while he, an Angel, couldn't. "

Clary couldn't believe her eyes. She tentatively raised her hand to his chest. His heart was beating. Strong and healthy. She cried in surprise and flung herself onto him. He held her tightly to himself and burrowed his face in her neck. "God,I love you!" She started crying at the words she thought she would never hear again. Jace sat down, with her in his lap and rocked them till she stopped shaking and crying.

"I love you, too."

He kissed her, intending to just keep it comfortable and calming but she had other things on her mind.

"I want you, Jace."

He looked unsure, "Are you sure? It is almost day."

"Yes." she kissed him firmly on the lips and he carried her to the bed and her sad cries of last night turned to something else. She didn't care that it was morning, she didn't care that the door was not locked, all she knew was that she was in the arms of the boy she loved and he was going nowhere. And she had no regrets whatsoever.

* * *

"Can you imagine the face of the Inquisitor when he was talking about burying me and I tapped him on the shoulder and said that I would prefer to be cremated?" Jace said, laughing. Clary was lying on her front, naked but covered from waist down. She was shaking with laughter but kept a hand on Jace's chest. He was lying on his back and recounting stories from after he woke up.

"I am so glad you are back."

Jace smiled but then turned her around and said "Do you remember the signs we had because we had more angel blood?"

She looked at her shoulder where the star had been but saw nothing. She looked up at Jace and saw that his sign was gone too. He sighed "The Angels do not do anything for free. When Ithuriel gave me my life back he took our powers away. So now we are just any other shadowhunter. "

Clary looked at his face and knew that she would miss her rune power, it made her feel special but above that it was Jace who made her feel like she was the prettiest and strongest.

"I am so glad you are back."

Jace pulled her towards him and kissed her to show how much happy he was to be back too. "You think we will be fine, you know, without me jumping like toads and you creating runes?"

She smiled "Anything to keep narcissists and zealots off our back, don't you think?"

"You are the best!" he turned them over with her top of him and kissed her till their lips couldn't take anymore.

Maybe they were two people who got lost in translation but they were two souls who always find each other. Forevermore.

* * *

 **A.N. And that is the end. Surprise Alert?!**

 **So, what do you think? Please tell me. Please. If you have read this far, just press the paper airplane thingy below and tell me your immediate reaction. I mean review. If you read please don't be silent.**

 **Favourite, follow the story if you liked it. Just please tell me. Your reviews give the poor depressed girl with exams, life. So give a review, save a life :) ;) Just kidding!I love you all, have a good night and day and watch Shadowhunters, it's fun.**

 **Love, Thea**

 **P.S. Don't forget to tell me if you cried ;) And there may be few mistakes, you know, spelling errors. And constructive criticism appreciated. And even if it's 2040 and you are just reading this, feel free to review. If I reply, I'm alive and if I don't, please eat an ice cream to mourn me.**


End file.
